Vertigo

Some of my friends actually asked me why I haven't updated my blog for so long... It's heartening to find that there are actually people reading my mundane blog!! So, dear friends (you know who you are, thanks for dropping in once in a while to check), I will try to put up some entries so you know I'm still alive and not fallen into a drain or something. I've been somewhat destabilized (read on below) recently, that's why I'm MIA...

My world is in a spin .... literally. I have been having vertigo attacks for more than a month and they're getting me down. I went to a GP in July but when the situation didn't improve the next day, I got an appointment with an ENT specialist that afternoon. In line with my own diagnosis after trawling the internet for vertigo information, he expectedly diagnosed me with BPPV (Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo). At least the word "benign" itself is comforting in times when I feel like the world is coming to an end. Occasionally though I wonder if something else is wrong with me. The ENT doc did the Epley manoevre on me and there was some slight improvement, but I still feel wobbly. The problem's with my left inner ear, the doc said. He told me not to lie flat when I sleep for the next 3 days, but sleeping in an inclined upright position caused other problems like neck and back pain.

During those dizzy spells, I can only sit still and close my eyes. Perhaps this was the only way God could get through to me to get me to talk to Him again! There wasn't anything I could do except to pray! Oh God, I don't want to live my life this way! Perhaps my body is trying to tell me something? Perhaps I shouldn't get so worked up over everything? This condition forced me take it easy these few weeks, which was extremely difficult especially when I was home with the kids. The best thing to do was for me to remain still and close my eyes to shut out all that extra movement. But this was nearly impossible with the kids around. They would come round frequently to talk to me, or pester me to play with them, or they would play and jump around on the bed. I felt guilty for not being able to do many things with them, but I had no choice. I tried to convince them to bother Daddy instead. But as a result, they got really sticky to Daddy and wanted him to do everything for them. I even had opportunities to watch crappy Ch 5 programmes in bed!

Fortunately there were days when I felt almost well, and even managed to celebrate Cheryl's birthday at school or go out on a school excursion with the kids. As of today, the problem has not gone away, but it has been reduced to moderate imbalance and displacement, which I still find slightly disturbing. I think I'm only functioning at 80% of my optimum level and that's on good days. And there's so much I have to do!!! Work, the kids,renovations!!! Argghh, bad timing for the vertigo to strike at this time! I really hope I can get well again really soon. I'm wondering why it's taking longer to recover this time, as I've had such attacks occasionally in the past. I'm not sure if it's the cause or result, but I've also been getting neck and back aches and sometimes headaches too. And living life as if I'm perpertually on a ship is ruining my appetite too. People tell me I've lost quite a bit of weight, so I've been trying to stuff myself whenever I feel well enough.

Will keep everyone updated if the situation improves...